WHY DO BLACK MEN DATE WHITE WOMEN 2.0

Many years ago I dated a White woman who used the same racist lowblow during arguments. It wasn’t a constant but it did happen a couple of times. Unfortunately I once had the misfortune to meet her parents  and it turns out the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Another seemingly common occurrence in certain mixed relationships are arguments that end with one spouse threatening to get the other deported. Obviously this would be an effectiveness scare tactic in a “love for papers” relationship, which makes me wonder why my Ex tried that.

<crickets>

We all know some beaches be cray.

On the other side of the wall, we can find various shades of people with strong opinions on mixed relationships.

Neo-Nazists and ultra-nationalists are fighting for the purity of their race and an unchanged cultural status quo. Apparently not only Lord Voldemort hates Muggles. #PureBlood

To be fair, I have to state that this is a point of view shared by both parties. Just last week, a Black woman on FB wrote about how having babies with White women is akin to propagating the mentality of slavery, and the Black man cannot be uplifted to equal status if we keep breeding with Whites (I’ve paraphrased her argument).

In addition Babcias and Ciocias (grannies and aunties) worry about the ridicule which is certain to arise from the hearts of neighbors. Going to market place becomes a bit too adventurous when the busybody living down the  road keeps asking why your daughter/sister married “the African”.

Not to forget the wellwishers who are of the stance that mixed race children are either an abomination or were selfishly brought into the world to live a life of suffering at the hands of other “single-race” children.

A Dantean image, isn’t it?

When one places the cards on the table and take a long look at them…

  • cultural differences
  • linguistic misunderstandings
  • social persecution
  • fear of loss of self and status
  • etc

the question appears in neon with a background of lightning – “Why do Black Men date White Women“. (Please do insert any race into the gaps and share some thoughts in the comment box).

I can only speak for myself and mine. I’ll make it short and simple.

Love is colourblind.

Regardless of what your eyes see and what your head processes, the battle is over and the search must end once your heart decides.

With love and in love we heal and thrive. We are nurtured and we are blessed.

Albeit fingers may be pointed and mockery may be disgorge from the lips of naysayers, when you find a good thing do not let it go.

Albeit family and friends may turn away from you, let it not matter if it drops on you in shades of Chocolate or Vanilla.

Albeit your head may claim it would be easier to bond with a partner of the same race, culture, colour and language, let your heart lead you.

Haters gonna hate anyway.

 

WHY DO BLACK MEN DATE WHITE WOMEN

For most (single) male expats or tourists who travel to Poland, the juiciest piece of information sought at the start is “Where the girls at!? ^_^”

Every nationality has its own watering holes. Italians in their hundreds go to specific clubs in the city seeking Polki who have a deeply ingrained fascination for those brown eyes and dark hair.

Girls who prefer Spaniards know where to find them, and any girl who loves Arabs knows exactly where to hunt.

Although Black men arent so numerous in Warsaw, there are a also couple of clubs where all the #snowbunnies hang out. Some only want a taste of the stereotypical BBC. I’ve been told some Polish women have a desire to have mixed babies, the sperm donor to be discarded like used tissue paper when he’s proven his usefulness.

Which brings me to the issue at hand. Last week I saw a couple of posts on FB from Black women stating their disapproval, in one case – hate, of interracial relationships. One lady claimed not to be a racist but emphasized that she would never accept the existence of genuine mutual and unselfish love between a Black man and a White woman.

The comments (and the comments are always the best part of anything one finds on the Internet nowadays) were an assortment of comedic, vile and ignorant opinions ranging from “Black men only engage themselves in these affairs for the sake of acquiring citizenship ‘papers'” to “Black men chase White women with curves just because they want to tap that ass, at the same time making Balck women feel inferior by saying they are too phat, too thick”.

Someone claimed his uncles foolishly jumped on the bandwagon of marrying White women in the 70’s and, upon getting older and wiser, are now using their wisdom to seek better women, Black women (read ‘more acceptable by the family’) as mistresses back in the Motherland.

One comment touched me, right before I could read no more. Although it might have been a fictional anecdote, I know this scenario occurs in various forms in diffferent societies the world over. Unfortunately, I have had firsthand experience in this matter (with an Ex).

The lady wrote that she had a friend who married a White man. Whenever marital difficulties surfaced, as they are prone to do, the husband resorted to flinging vulgar and wounding racial slurs at his wife. I’ll spare you the details. Think Kunta Kinte. Think 12 Years A Slave.

To be continued…

 

Being a Father to an Infant

Lying in bed and immediately knowing the hard object that’s poking you in the butt is a toy.

Understanding the reason for your (stay-at-home) partner’s fatigue even though it may seem staying at home is a holiday.


Watching (with equal amounts of pleasure and worry) a little human chew food.

Discovering your honed reflexes is useful for something besides catching food before it hits the ground.

Building your upper body muscles without going to the gym. Babies aren’t featherlight.

Never eating a meal alone as long as Baby’s awake.

Speaking in tongues. Babyese.

Perfecting the acrobatics and finesse needed to use a smartphone or game console pad while holding Baby.

Praising every attempt and accomplishment – clapping hands, first steps, first words, ‘no tears-poo’.

Excuding immeasurable happiness whenever Baby falls asleep. And stays asleep all night.

Fatherhood Moments of Bliss

When Zoë…

(in no particular order, but I’ll leave the best for last)

  • falls asleep in my arms.
  • wakes up in the middle of the night, sits up in bed and talks to herself till she sleeps off. Well I do hope she IS talking to HERSELF.
  • doesn’t cry during bath time even when water flows down on her face.
  • stinks up the room but there’s nothing in her nappy, only memories of a fart.
  • gives me a panda-hug just because.19559-Panda-Hug
  • sleeps throughout a flight.
  • sleeps throughout a wedding ceremony.
  • sleeps while I’m trying to kill a boss on Xbox (you catch my drift regarding sleep).
  • 13e84e85f54e9e266500d77500cd5435
  • shows interest in books.
  • dances and sings on beat to the music in her head.
  • entertains herself in her playpen as long mommy/daddy smile at her once in a while. File_000.jpeg
  • shares lunch with me and we don’t even make a mess.
  • lets us dress her up without breaking a sweat.
  • gets tired of throwing her toys on the floor just to see how fast I can pick them up.
  • gives me a big wide smile when she sees me in the morning or when I get back from work.File_000 (1)
  • wakes up in the morning and goes to bed at night healthy, happy, and hearty.

Sunny Beach

Traveling with a baby is an adventure that cannot be fully understood nor imagined until you experience it. Although thousands of blogs and articles may provide you with advice, tips, and strategies, all your plans and the success of the trip are chiefly determined by the wellbeing of your child/ren.

A holiday with a baby is just as similar as traveling with a small child as it is different. Obviously the main factor is that your offspring is dependent on you 100% of the time. Even when your baby is sleeping, you need to be observant, present, watchful, careful, everything-ful. It’s quite common to hear parents say they need a holiday to rest after their holiday with a baby.

We’ve just returned from a seaside holiday with Zoë. This being our 3rd Wedlejt-Ogunleye international trip  (Cities visited as a family: Wroclaw, Bologna, Florence, Venice, Paris, Krakow, Sunny Beach, & Nessebar) it’s safe to say we are now experts at this thing.

That being said, Bulgaria is a great place to spend your holiday if you’ve got kids, and you’ve got a budget. There was no crowd in early July (lots of space on the beach), the water is quite clear and warm (although there were a few jellyfish), and there was a variety of eateries at affordable prices (in comparison with Warsaw standards). We stayed in Hotel Lion at Sunny Beach: a nice 3-star hotel with 2 pools (unheated) and “OK” meals. I’d recommend it to anyone who doesn’t need to be right next to the beach (wouldn’t have minded that) nor right in the middle of the party zone (thank God).

Tips for your summer holiday

  • Always research your holiday and destination options before you make your choice. Regardless of how the tourist agency markets the package, look for info from various sources and make sure it suits YOUR needs.
  •  When travelling with a baby, leave as many things as possible in your checked baggage. The less time you spend showing your the cosmetics and electronics in your hand luggage to airport security, the time (and hands) you’ve got to keep your baby calm.
  • Ensure your baby stroller is as light and portable as possible.
  • Buy a baby pool and a baby beach tent (YCTML).
  • Always prepare a bottle of formula/baby food/water/juice for your baby before you leave for the airport (every time your child finishes a bottle, prepare another. Babies don’t understand the word “WAIT!”)
  • Don’t panic when the baby starts crying at the airport or on the plane. People be bitches and they’ll give you the side eye. One foolish ugly pimple-ridden girl even asked the flight attendant if she could do something about the crying baby. Just do your best to calm the baby and survive the ordeal. Remember they can’t throw you off the plane for having a crying baby.
  • Last but not least, #1 PLAN AND PREPARE…but #2 BE FLEXIBLE AND READY FOR ANYTHING!
  • Have fun ^_^

the lemons

Bey:  Do you like it Jay:  Its magnificent. You’ve really out done yourself. Wh- Bey:  Fuck you Bey:  My fans are going to tear you apart lol Jay: lo- Bey:  Don’t fucking laugh Bey:  I&…

Source: the lemons

A Globetoddler Globetrotting

Next week Wanda and I went are going on our 2nd international trip with Zoë – Easter in Paris. Yaay!

Weather forecast predicts a bit of snow in Warsaw over the holidays…while it will be 8 degrees warmer in the City of Lights. I’ll take that as a sign of forthcoming blessings ^_^

Quite a few travel blogs have confirmed that the Paris métro and Venice bridges have one thing in common – they’re mostly NOT baby-friendly. Which means there’ll be a lot of heavy-lifting done while trudging up and down numerous steps.

An ideal scenario with a baby that’s practically getting bigger daily.

Fortunately, the alternative in Paris, i.e. travelling by bus, is much cheaper than the gondola.

Come what may, we’re looking forward to a hassle-free trip. IMG_20160317_001334IMG_20160315_202328

Love Don’t Care

Click to listen >> Love Don’t Care

simildc

 

My amazingly talented sister has released a new single.

Perfectly timed for Valentine’s weekend, this song will make you hug that special someone for a few minutes longer than usual 😛

Beautiful music from a beautiful soul with a beautiful voice.

#dropmic

Adulting Tips

  • Rocking a baby to sleep every night is a very effective way to build up biceps and triceps muscles.
  • Never carry your baby while her diaper is off. Nope.
  • Once you become a dad, your favorite shirt automatically becomes “the shirt she threw up on that time”. Same goes for your second favorite shirt.
  • Contrary to popular opinion, changing diapers is the easiest part of life with a newborn (to be fair though, our daughter is quite well-behaved, so I can only speak for her).
  • Getting a baby to enjoy baths takes practice. 
  • Scientists say babies don’t dream. Somebody lied.  

Daddy Duties

  • Baby baths (#notears shampoo? Liars.)
  • Diaper changes (2.5kg* of poo in one week)
  • Nursery rhymes and lullabies (Stinky Winky Bąky Star)
  • Feeding and burping (the Chinese would be pleased)
  • Fashion styling (future Top Model)
  • Dozens of pictures and videos captured and saved in Clouds
  • Baby ID and Baby Savings Account, because #ModernFamily and #WinterIsComing

These were some of our adventures in the first couple of weeks of Zoë’s life. It’s not been easy on Wanda playing the role of mother, wife, and housewife all at once…but someone’s got to do it 😛

Fortunately, the Ideal Woman found me; I’d like to pen in an offhanded thank you to the trials and tribulations I dated between 2004 and 2014 – 10 years of roaming the wilderness, and I ain’t even Jewish.

Being a parent is just as complicated and magical as I’d always imagined. In addition, Zizou had a double medical checkup today, and all the results were positive.

My daughter is healthy and my wife loves me.

Dreams do come true.

Instagram – @Zoe.Temilola or @FakeAjebutter