Being a Father to an Infant

Lying in bed and immediately knowing the hard object that’s poking you in the butt is a toy.

Understanding the reason for your (stay-at-home) partner’s fatigue even though it may seem staying at home is a holiday.


Watching (with equal amounts of pleasure and worry) a little human chew food.

Discovering your honed reflexes is useful for something besides catching food before it hits the ground.

Building your upper body muscles without going to the gym. Babies aren’t featherlight.

Never eating a meal alone as long as Baby’s awake.

Speaking in tongues. Babyese.

Perfecting the acrobatics and finesse needed to use a smartphone or game console pad while holding Baby.

Praising every attempt and accomplishment – clapping hands, first steps, first words, ‘no tears-poo’.

Excuding immeasurable happiness whenever Baby falls asleep. And stays asleep all night.

Fatherhood Moments of Bliss

When Zoë…

(in no particular order, but I’ll leave the best for last)

  • falls asleep in my arms.
  • wakes up in the middle of the night, sits up in bed and talks to herself till she sleeps off. Well I do hope she IS talking to HERSELF.
  • doesn’t cry during bath time even when water flows down on her face.
  • stinks up the room but there’s nothing in her nappy, only memories of a fart.
  • gives me a panda-hug just because.19559-Panda-Hug
  • sleeps throughout a flight.
  • sleeps throughout a wedding ceremony.
  • sleeps while I’m trying to kill a boss on Xbox (you catch my drift regarding sleep).
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  • shows interest in books.
  • dances and sings on beat to the music in her head.
  • entertains herself in her playpen as long mommy/daddy smile at her once in a while. File_000.jpeg
  • shares lunch with me and we don’t even make a mess.
  • lets us dress her up without breaking a sweat.
  • gets tired of throwing her toys on the floor just to see how fast I can pick them up.
  • gives me a big wide smile when she sees me in the morning or when I get back from work.File_000 (1)
  • wakes up in the morning and goes to bed at night healthy, happy, and hearty.

Daddy Duties

  • Baby baths (#notears shampoo? Liars.)
  • Diaper changes (2.5kg* of poo in one week)
  • Nursery rhymes and lullabies (Stinky Winky Bąky Star)
  • Feeding and burping (the Chinese would be pleased)
  • Fashion styling (future Top Model)
  • Dozens of pictures and videos captured and saved in Clouds
  • Baby ID and Baby Savings Account, because #ModernFamily and #WinterIsComing

These were some of our adventures in the first couple of weeks of Zoë’s life. It’s not been easy on Wanda playing the role of mother, wife, and housewife all at once…but someone’s got to do it 😛

Fortunately, the Ideal Woman found me; I’d like to pen in an offhanded thank you to the trials and tribulations I dated between 2004 and 2014 – 10 years of roaming the wilderness, and I ain’t even Jewish.

Being a parent is just as complicated and magical as I’d always imagined. In addition, Zizou had a double medical checkup today, and all the results were positive.

My daughter is healthy and my wife loves me.

Dreams do come true.

Instagram – @Zoe.Temilola or @FakeAjebutter