Many years ago I dated a White woman who used the same racist lowblow during arguments. It wasn’t a constant but it did happen a couple of times. Unfortunately I once had the misfortune to meet her parents  and it turns out the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Another seemingly common occurrence in certain mixed relationships are arguments that end with one spouse threatening to get the other deported. Obviously this would be an effectiveness scare tactic in a “love for papers” relationship, which makes me wonder why my Ex tried that.


We all know some beaches be cray.

On the other side of the wall, we can find various shades of people with strong opinions on mixed relationships.

Neo-Nazists and ultra-nationalists are fighting for the purity of their race and an unchanged cultural status quo. Apparently not only Lord Voldemort hates Muggles. #PureBlood

To be fair, I have to state that this is a point of view shared by both parties. Just last week, a Black woman on FB wrote about how having babies with White women is akin to propagating the mentality of slavery, and the Black man cannot be uplifted to equal status if we keep breeding with Whites (I’ve paraphrased her argument).

In addition Babcias and Ciocias (grannies and aunties) worry about the ridicule which is certain to arise from the hearts of neighbors. Going to market place becomes a bit too adventurous when the busybody living down the  road keeps asking why your daughter/sister married “the African”.

Not to forget the wellwishers who are of the stance that mixed race children are either an abomination or were selfishly brought into the world to live a life of suffering at the hands of other “single-race” children.

A Dantean image, isn’t it?

When one places the cards on the table and take a long look at them…

  • cultural differences
  • linguistic misunderstandings
  • social persecution
  • fear of loss of self and status
  • etc

the question appears in neon with a background of lightning – “Why do Black Men date White Women“. (Please do insert any race into the gaps and share some thoughts in the comment box).

I can only speak for myself and mine. I’ll make it short and simple.

Love is colourblind.

Regardless of what your eyes see and what your head processes, the battle is over and the search must end once your heart decides.

With love and in love we heal and thrive. We are nurtured and we are blessed.

Albeit fingers may be pointed and mockery may be disgorge from the lips of naysayers, when you find a good thing do not let it go.

Albeit family and friends may turn away from you, let it not matter if it drops on you in shades of Chocolate or Vanilla.

Albeit your head may claim it would be easier to bond with a partner of the same race, culture, colour and language, let your heart lead you.

Haters gonna hate anyway.



For most (single) male expats or tourists who travel to Poland, the juiciest piece of information sought at the start is “Where the girls at!? ^_^”

Every nationality has its own watering holes. Italians in their hundreds go to specific clubs in the city seeking Polki who have a deeply ingrained fascination for those brown eyes and dark hair.

Girls who prefer Spaniards know where to find them, and any girl who loves Arabs knows exactly where to hunt.

Although Black men arent so numerous in Warsaw, there are a also couple of clubs where all the #snowbunnies hang out. Some only want a taste of the stereotypical BBC. I’ve been told some Polish women have a desire to have mixed babies, the sperm donor to be discarded like used tissue paper when he’s proven his usefulness.

Which brings me to the issue at hand. Last week I saw a couple of posts on FB from Black women stating their disapproval, in one case – hate, of interracial relationships. One lady claimed not to be a racist but emphasized that she would never accept the existence of genuine mutual and unselfish love between a Black man and a White woman.

The comments (and the comments are always the best part of anything one finds on the Internet nowadays) were an assortment of comedic, vile and ignorant opinions ranging from “Black men only engage themselves in these affairs for the sake of acquiring citizenship ‘papers'” to “Black men chase White women with curves just because they want to tap that ass, at the same time making Balck women feel inferior by saying they are too phat, too thick”.

Someone claimed his uncles foolishly jumped on the bandwagon of marrying White women in the 70’s and, upon getting older and wiser, are now using their wisdom to seek better women, Black women (read ‘more acceptable by the family’) as mistresses back in the Motherland.

One comment touched me, right before I could read no more. Although it might have been a fictional anecdote, I know this scenario occurs in various forms in diffferent societies the world over. Unfortunately, I have had firsthand experience in this matter (with an Ex).

The lady wrote that she had a friend who married a White man. Whenever marital difficulties surfaced, as they are prone to do, the husband resorted to flinging vulgar and wounding racial slurs at his wife. I’ll spare you the details. Think Kunta Kinte. Think 12 Years A Slave.

To be continued…